Cohort three of the TABS Empowerment workshop kicked off to a promising start, hungry minds, questioning eyes, a thirst for information and a chance to be heard monopolized the new batch of “Attractors”. I am an outsider looking in, I am also the Attractor, yet nothing like this new set of curious hopefuls, I am empowered and have rid myself of preconceived notions and all the baggage that once set me back from realizing my true potential.
The discussion that kicked off centred around parents, visualizing our conception in the womb and our coming into this world with the traits that set us apart from every carbon copy individual, the characteristics that make us unique and special, those we inherited and those that developed on their own. The attractors presented their tales through a number of creative mediums, from their mother they got their drive and determination, their zealousness, the sugar, spice and all things nice. But then a reoccurring sad depiction took place in almost every attractor’s presentation, negative imagery and a hopeless account of the traits they inherited from their fathers.
Personally, I have never had the idea relationship with my father, but he has always been present in one form or the other and like most of the attractors, I have a deeper connection with my mother. But it stimulated thought, how did this impact my development and how did his passenger seat influence in my nurturing affect my confidence, as a male. And how empowered can I feel as young MAN who has had limited interaction with the male figure expected to lead and steer me in the right direction.
Many MSMs have encountered less than ideal situations with their parents where they are left feeling judged, ashamed and less than because of their sexuality. But where often we fail is manifesting the drive to motivate ourselves, and forgive them for not understanding then hope for their moments of joyous epiphanies, where they can learn to accept and love us. CHOOSING to hold on to the emotional baggage of repressed thoughts and CHOOSING to believe the negative imagery painted by the persons we expect to love us unconditionally, indirectly we are also CHOOSING to be demotivated, depressed and think less of ourselves, thereby CHOOSING to supress our uniqueness and live unhappily.
Letting go of the hurt and the pain may seem hard, but its not until we make the conscious decision to be happy, and focus on that happiness and how we’d prefer to interact with our parents, family and peers, using that ideal to attract positive energy. Until then, will we be able to empower ourselves and the persons around us, and take charge of our own destiny and well-being.