Gay men are one of the most dynamic and interesting subgenus in the human populous, issues surrounding gay sex and gay culture have been a source of distress, wild disagreements, blatant ignorance – and general outrage over the years. For such a dynamic group of men, there are still some medieval customs and non-progressive habits we hold on to that don’t stand to further a more mainstream attitude towards gay men and acceptance as a societal normalcy. Here’s a suggestion of five things gay men should stop doing.
1. Describing yourself as straight acting
The premise of sexual orientation is limited to sexual preferences, not how interested you are in sports, how masculine you dress and talk or how reserved you are. Describing yourself as straight acting doesn’t put you in a special class of gay men who are more desirable. Straight acting men – do not sleep with men, misogyny doesn’t serve to advance or improve society’s impressions of gay men.
2. Baring it all on Dating Websites, But still “Looking for Friendship”
To the gay man using a photo of his erect member or supple behind as his primary profile picture on dating websites with the premise, looking for friendship, stop. Regardless of how nice you think your penis is or how anaconda worthy your behind, advertising sex is unlikely to attract people interested in more than just sex. Be specific in your profile and clear about your intentions, state what you’re looking for in a respectful manner and for Pete’s sake, stop taking close up photos of your anus.
3. Femme Shaming
The ironic joke of gay culture is the idealization of hetero-normative behavior, not only is this self loathing practice hurtful but it only helps to perpetuate the stereotype that all gay men act feminine. This limits the spectrum of expression men are allowed to be comfortable with, any behavior which can be interpreted as feminine becomes undesirable, and gay men inclined to this form of expression become outcasts in an already ostracized group.
4. Using Sexual Labels as Life Labels
Top, bottom and verse are labels gay men use to describe their preference for penetration during intercourse. But for some gay men, the labels take on a form outside of sex and become labels used to determine how they live their life. Stop this, now. Stereotyping men in accordance to their sexual label or adopting to stereotypes is non-progressive. There is no hard and fast rule book that determines how a top should act, and how a bottom should act. Stop trying to make it happen, it’s not going to happen.
5. Slut shaming other gay men
There are enough heterosexuals in the world calling gay men whores. Freedom of sexual expression is something you’d expect a repressed feminist to rant about but the same is similar in the gay community – especially for men on the receiving end of sex. If you are concerned about someone else’s sex life, research shows that there is an 80 percent chance you might not be getting enough. There is no hard and fast rule that dictates when to have sex with someone. Instead of slut shaming encourage the person to practice safer sex, since their sex life is your prerogative.