5 More Things Gay Men Should Stop Doing


This series all started off with this post, check out the first Installment 5 Things Gay Men Should Stop doing Here. The second part features five other traits exhibited by gay men that we would all probably be better off without.

1. Trying to be one of “The Plastics”

We can all agree that Tina Fey hit cinematic gold with the modern day teen classic done right “Mean Girls”. But gay men especially have idealized the characters and try to embody the superficial ideals represented in the movie. The ironic detachment in the movie becomes translated poorly to real life scenarios and the catch phrases become more hackneyed than guys on dating profiles making declarations “NO FATS OR FEMMES”. Pretty quickly we start living beyond our means trying to attain status. You are not Regina George, no losers are getting in – no one is going shopping.

2. Engaging in unsafe sexual activities

With HIV and other STI statistics being as high as they are in the gay population, there remains no reason for men to still engage in unsafe sexual activities. Being in control of your health is one of the most empowering decisions a man can make, always negotiating safer sex practices and being aware of your health status. To the gay men who have slipped up, protection and safer sex become more critical – you have a responsibility to adhere to treatment as well as to protect your partner.

3. Relationship shaming

No relationship is ideal, persons share dynamic experiences and ideals with each other that work for their expectations. Comparing the relationship of happy gay couples and disregarding the legitimacy of their love doesn’t do anyone much good. There is no right or wrong way to be gay and happy in love. Spend time discovering the relationship variables that work for you and less time complaining about other couples who have found something that works for them. Putting down other couples isn’t going to fast track your finding Mr. Right For You.

4. Dating women as cover

The DL man is a complex creature that deserves his own post. For short, women aren’t covers for your repressed sexuality or the cure to your penis lust. Dating women while secretly engaging in often unprotected sex with other men just as a cover for your homosexual interests is not only selfish but innately cruel. The bisexual man who’s attracted to both genders does exist, but the DL man is a special type of deceptive and manipulative.

5. Putting age restrictions on when to find love

Age perception in the gay world almost takes on a similar perception as it does with women, the 25 year old gay man ages drastically when he hits 30 and becomes an undesirable elder. Men have put this limit on their life and goals and submit themselves to crippling disappointment when they hit a certain age and they’re not in a happy fulfilling relationship with their dream guy. There’s no ideal time to find love, life is not as short as you’re thinking,

The Attractor

4 thoughts on “5 More Things Gay Men Should Stop Doing

  1. I disagree with number 1 because its all about personal preference. Everyone has different tastes whether its men, fashion, food, etc. So if a guy doesn’t like to date effeminate guys or guys who aren’t in shape, doesn’t mean their bad guys. Its like the straight guys who only date blondes or redheads or just latinas, Asians, etc. Its whatever floats your boat.

  2. “Slipped up?” Not everyone who contracts HIV/Sti’s participated in wreckless, high risk behavior. All sex is risky, I know. What about the scenario where you trust your partner who lies to you about their extracurricular behaviors? Or folks who are raped? I agree with Eddie stop HIV shaming. Gone are the days when us as Gay men and our lesbian sisters were all we had and were supportive.

  3. Agreed Eddie. I am not Pos, but my best friend is… I have watched him cry time and time again when he tells someone whom he really likes (and who really like him) that he is Positive and they drop him like a hot potato. It is ugly. My heart breaks for him.

  4. How about one more thing? Stop shaming men who are HIV positive and excluding them as potential partners? You’d think support would be strongest in the gay community, but it’s just the opposite.

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