1. Sex is messy. You have probably heard this idea a few times but porn is ruining our expectations of sex. Real sex with real people is messy, sweaty, grimy, hot and sometimes even uncomfortable.
2. Sex is a vulnerable and revealing act. If you have ever had sex with anyone who asks you to dim the lights or turn the lights off completely or if you’re the guilty offender, you should be able to relate. We get naked and bare for sex, we share brief intimacy with another soul and express intense desires. Its natural to feel a bit self conscious after sex, even if you’re secretly a porn star.
3. Good sex can be misleading. Good sex is a cruel and elusive mistress, it tricks us into believing the good in that asshole who’s house you’re heading to in a cab – in the middle of the night – because you’re horny, not because it’s love.
4. It’s possible to have really great sexual chemistry with someone you have no desire to date or ever talk to outside of the context of late nights “Hey, wyd? I’m horny”.
5. Sex is not always sexy. Sex is sometimes embarrassing and awkward. Other times sex is depressing and uninspiring. Porn again comes in to ruin our expectations of sex, its a personal act. Sex is as varied as ice cream flavors, sometimes vanilla is just what you have been craving all week, maybe next week you’ll crave some hot caramel- ice cream.
6. You might forget who you lost your virginity to, and guess what – it is okay.
7. Your place or mine? Always have clear dialogue regarding where sex takes place – safety plays the biggest factor. It might seem like a good idea to have sex in a public restroom but its only thrilling until you get caught.
8. 69 is grossly overrated (and uncomfortable). Do you really enjoy have someone’s butthole in your face? – I’ll wait for the answer.
9. You might want love – he might just want to cum. Don’t go in with the wrong expectations.
10. Sex needs to be safe and healthy. Sexual health is a lot more than using a condom (but still use a condom). WHO says “Sexual health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality. It requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.”